Monday, November 9, 2009
Happy 20th Anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down!
So, today was actually one of those days where I was missing Andrew like crazy and actually pretty down. I tried to make myself feel better but ended up just going back to bed until my therapy skype appointment in the afternoon. Andrew may not have been able to do some things that many husbands do, but he was my best friend and understood me in a way that perhaps no one ever will again. In a special way. So special that it was worth it to me to be with him no matter what happened or how hard things were. So...anyway. I was desperately missing my best friend today. It is such a strange thing, our marriage ending. It was definitely not for lack of love. Ohh...man it just hurts so bad sometimes. Anyway, my time with my therapist was very helpful. She told me I was doing a good job grieving so at least that is a positive thing, right? If nothing else I can be a good griever! Very good news. Ha. Anyway. Today was a very special day in the history of this amazing city that I am living in and I am really glad that I got to be here for it. There was a huge concert going on at the Brandenburg Gate, Bon Jovi, Placido Domingo and Daniel Barenboim were performing among others. And there was a really cool project where 33, 000 people were recreating the Berlin wall by holding hands where the wall used to be...super cool. I decided that even though I was feeling sad and really didn't accomplish anything today, that I should brave the rain and try to go to the concert. So my flat mate Klaus, friends Anne and Corrie and I got on our bikes and rode through freezing cold, pouring rain about 30 minutes until we got to a place where it was so crowded we had to park our bikes. People had umbrellas all over the place and you had to watch out not to get poked in the eyes, we were sloshing around in the mud and wading through people trying to get as close to the action as we could but by the time we got there they had blocked off the place where you could get to the concert or see anything because there were too many people. So, unfortunately the video here, which is only 3 seconds long because it wasn't really intended to be a video (hit the wrong button on my camera) is a very distant shot of lots of umbrellas and the brandenburg gate all lit up. Klaus, who is taller than Paul Bunyan, took it for me. So, hope you all enjoy it! It was exciting to be a part of the energy at least. Klaus and Anne went home after about an hour and a half of trying to find an entrance and Corrie and I walked around for another couple hours trying to find a way to see the people holding hands...but didn't have any luck and finally decided to celebrate the wall by ourselves with milchkaffee. Maybe we can see the footage sometime on tv or on you tube. Pretty cool to be in a city with so much crazy history. I pray that the walls of my heart that are keeping me from experiencing freedom in any way would also come tumbling down. Or maybe I could just convince the German polizei to come in and just knock them down for me. They seem pretty hard core. Any time I heard anything from them tonight my whole body sort of stiffened up in the memory of the many films I have seen of the Holocaust. I know that is probably not good but I can't help it. I have come to think that the German language is really quite beautiful. At least it can be...but I guess like any language, if there is yelling involved, it's usually not pretty. Guess it depends on what people are yelling about. Now if someone were yelling, "You just won the lottery!" in German, that would probably sound pretty sweet. Yeah, it's late. I'm a bit tired. Not so funny as I like to think I am. :)